There are bitter tears shed behind quiet closed doors. No one is immune. Every one of us feels this pressure. Our days drag on, problems rising like the tide, dragging us down. We feel alone and unheard. Crying out to God is the only hope for relief we have. But when He is silent, I begin to wonder if God cares.
Does my vulnerable, battered heart matter to Him? Because in these quiet moments, when my heart hurts and I feel abandoned, it feels like it does not.
King David and many of the other psalmists wrestled with this same questions. The book of Psalms details the way he cried out to God in these moments. This book is lined and lined again with marks from my pen-my attempt to etch into my mind that I’m not alone, that we all cry, and that God is good.
Psalm 88 gives me permission to present my raw emotions to God.
It shows me that life can cry. That Christians can cry and it’s okay. That we can pound our fists and soak our pillow with tears and feel, “afflicted and close to death,” and He still listens.
Most of the psalms end on a happy note. This one does not. Because some days, all we have to offer God is a raw sorrow. Nonetheless, He invites us to draw close to Himself. We don’t have to wait until we are through the muck and the mire, we can come in the midst of it and bring our confusion and pain before Him.
Our pain has been counted by God
Psalm 56 tells us that God has bottled up our tears and recorded them all. This tender care shows me that, even when I don’t see His work, my pain matters deeply to Him. Not a single tear goes unnoticed.
In the passage before, Psalm 55 tells us that we are to cast our cares upon Him and that He will sustain us. Our pain matters and He invites us to bring these burdens before His throne. In our sorrow, we can trust that God is paying attention to each and every moment of our pain. Allowing this truth to penetrate my heart has in and of itself strengthened me.
Your pain is preparing you for glory.
In one of my favorite and most intriguing passages, Paul tells the Corinthians (2 Corinthians 4) that their affiliations are preparing them for an eternal weight of glory. Not only if He seeing, but He is actively using your pain to prepare you for something wonderful.
Your hurt is being redeemed. You are not left alone in your pain. And further still, God is working on your behalf to turn it into something wonderful. You will not be put to shame for trusting in your Heavenly Father.
Every moment has meaning.
Your God has not abandoned you. Even when He feels far off, we can trust in His promise to be near to the brokenhearted. We can trust that He is tenderly there, counting our tears and working behind the scene to bring about something beautiful.
Because at the end of the day, He loves you. God has already shown us the extent He will go to for us. He stepped down from glory into our lives and sacrificed Himself. Knowing this, we can believe firmly that our lives matter deeply to Him. We can pray unashamed through tears and know that each and every moment of our hurt matters to God.