I’m so grateful to share with you from another Christian writer from Michigan. Amanda Higgins has a heart tender to the Lord’s calling. I’m grateful for her wisdom and vulnerability in sharing life’s struggles. Her words are written from the perspective of a young woman but are applicable to anyone waiting on God. May we all take these times are an opportunity to sit like Mary at the feet of the Lord.
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and perfect.” Romans 12:2
Just about anyone can relate to the feeling of discomfort that so often accompanies marvelous change. It always seems to be that before any type of major transformation, heartbreak catalyzes this type of transitioning and personal growth towards God’s perfect plan for us. I don’t think God intended us to experience pain as a catalyst towards Him, rather it is an unfortunate consequence of living in a sinful world. But as I search for the silver lining in these situations, I have come to the realization that being in discomfort has given me a strange sense of peace as I trust in God to give me direction in a time I feel completely lost.
I always imagined myself in a different position than what I am in now at age 22. At this point in time, I was supposed to be on the road to marriage, getting settled down in my dream career, living on my own, and checking things off life’s ‘to-do’ list. In reality, I am not yet married, not yet in my dream career, not yet living on my own, and not even close to being where I imagined myself. In fact, God wasn’t even a part of my idealized timeline.
In retrospect, the expectations I had for myself distracted me from my purpose of living a full life in the present circumstances I had been intentionally placed in. I had objective metrics set up to measure my life against what is considered the norm at this age instead of trusting the grounded voice within me. This is where my journey had changed from being dependent on external expectations and turning into God’s unwavering and unconditional love for me.
As young adults, a lot of us are in that not yet stage. This stage is often accompanied by negative connotations of uncertainty, fear, and doubt. But what so many people, including myself, fail to see is the beauty of the unknown and the hope that lies in the future. This season is teaching me to fill my heart with more of God and less of me; to give more fruitful and fulfilling love and to do less out of selfish conceit; to find my identity in Christ and dethrone idols of perfection, people-pleasing, and achievement. I have been learning to let go of control and trust in God’s not yet (but perfect) timing. In these tender moments preceding change, I am constantly reminded of the importance of being present over perfect- where I am now is where I am meant to be.
If you are like me in that uncomfortable, not yet, stage of life, you are truly blessed. Present your requests to God and He will give you the desires of your heart even if sometimes the answer is, “Yes, but not yet. I have something better for you when the time is right.” In the meantime, simply stay in the conversation and hold on to the truth that you are not alone!
Amanda Higgins is a 22-year old graduate student at Western Michigan University, where she is studying to be a physician assistant. She hopes to serve the Lord through her passion in medicine, specifically in palliative care by treating those with chronic illnesses and helping to improve quality of life. Aside from her busy studies, Amanda enjoys running, serving in her community, drinking coffee, and being with loved ones. She writes as a way to document the ups and downs of pursing medicine and the Lord during her crazy PA school journey.
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