• Start Here
    • Privacy Policy
  • The Podcast
  • Spiritual Disciplines
    • Bible Study
      • Building a Bible Reading Habit: A 31 Day Gospel Reading Plan
    • Confession
    • Fasting
    • Prayer
    • Service
  • Liturgical Living
    • Advent
    • Christmas
    • Lent
      • 40 Days to the Cross: A Lenten Workbook
      • The Bible in Lent
    • Easter
    • Pentecost
    • Ordinary Time
  • Catholicism
  • Christian Living
    • Church Life
    • Hospitality
    • Marriage
      • Infertility
  • Latest Blog Posts

The Thin Place

The Cycle of Pain

Sometimes, the waiting game simply sucks.

Other times, it’s not so much the impatience for an answer but the wrong answer that sucks. At least with the waiting, there’s hope. You can dream about shopping for tiny booties or how excited you’ll be when you tell him. The day that big wrong answer comes, those dreams are gone.

You try to stay positive. You try to smile and convince yourself that maybe the timing wasn’t quite right yet. Maybe next month will be better because then there’s a chance you’ll be together for an ultrasound. Maybe next month, you’ll have had time to come up with a more creative way to break the news. Maybe next month, it will be neat because the due date could be near a holiday or a birthday or whatever. But deep down you know that maybe next month, you’ll still be faced with the whys that plague you today.

It’s ugly when jealously and judgement rear their heads. When your friends announce good news and quickly follow it up with, “We weren’t trying! Actually, we were trying to wait! It just happened! I mean, of course we’re thrilled though.”

In those moments, it’s all I can do to bite my tongue and hold back a sharp, “That must be a nice problem to have.”

God doesn’t get the benefit of my filter. He hears all the whys and the tears and the questions about why the teenager got knocked-up in the backseat of a car but my month after month by body refuses to cooperate.

img_0427img_0431img_0429

This time, it’s hard not to judge those around me. It’s hard not to point fingers at the parents not doing it right and disqualify them. It’s hard not to look at couples complaining about lack of sleep and not slap them. It’s hard to confront that deep down, I think I’m more worthy of it than they are.

That’s when life gets hard.

I read an article this week that talked about how you can’t control whether or not you have depression, you can only control your response to it. God, I don’t know whether or not you will ever bless me with two pink lines. I would love that. I would treasure that. But God, I do know that You are good. I do know that whether or not I receive that gift in that way, You are the only Giver of Good in my life. I do know that while I cannot control my fertility, You can. And not only are You capable, you are doing it right now. You are pouring Your love and goodness into my body each month, even in the days when my eyes flood before you asking why.

img_0191img_0188img_0432

I cannot control my fertility. I can control my response and I will chose to praise. God, it might be hard to hear through the tears, but I trust you. I know that You are good. I know that You care. I know that You will provide. I pray that You will turn this mourning into laughter.

Maybe someday I will feel differently. Maybe someday, my heart won’t ache the way it does right now. Today is not that day. Today is that day that I pray as Sarah and Hannah did. The day I pray that you will answer me as Elizabeth was answered, by taking away my shame. Today I pray trusting You, the Giver of Life, to give life within my body. Today I pray for the privilege of raising an arrow to send into this sin-torn world to bear Your name.

Father, please hear my prayer and not my angry heart.

Join 6,878 Believers
Join 6,878 believers who receive weekly updates and spiritual encouragement and receive free access to the resource library and our exclusive Facebook group.
We hate spam. Your email address will not be sold or shared with anyone else.
Pin
Share28
Tweet
Share
28 Shares
Share
Join the Convo

Leave a Comment Cancel Comment

The Comments

  • wildflower1290
    October 28, 2016

    Beautiful words the resonate deep within my heart. ♡♡♡

    Reply
    • Bailey
      wildflower1290
      October 29, 2016

      Thank you. It’s hard to hope for the future while grieving the present. Stay rooted in Him. <3

      Reply
  • Rest Your Weary Heart
    September 10, 2017

    […] joy that only comes with deep friendship and by the stabbing pain of betrayal. It seems like I am constantly finding the endings. The end of comfort as pain fills my body. The farewell of friends who have grown and shaped me. The […]

    Reply
related posts

You May Also Like

How We Find Ourselves Again

October 19, 2016

I Don’t Deserve My Blessings But They Keep Coming

August 13, 2017

When Your Announcement Just Isn’t Coming

October 21, 2016
Hello, I’m Bailey
about me

Hello, I’m Bailey

The Thin Place was born out of a season of struggle. A season where I felt stretched thin and desperately longed to see the goodness of God in the land of the living. The goodness of God showed up in unexpected ways. During that season, the spiritual disciplines laid out in Scripture, the traditions of the Church, and the reminders of His faithfulness seen in liturgial living and the feasts and seasons of the Church calendar all opened my eyes to the hope we have in Christ.

Popular Posts

6 Habits To Start Your Morning Routine Like The Proverbs 31 Woman6 Habits To Start Your Morning Routine Like The Proverbs 31 Woman87K Total Shares
Pray Like Hannah and Give It to GodPray Like Hannah and Give It to God23K Total Shares
7 Spiritual Goals You Need To Start Setting Today7 Spiritual Goals You Need To Start Setting Today12K Total Shares
5 Important Ways to Pray for Your Husband5 Important Ways to Pray for Your Husband11K Total Shares

Products

  • Building a Bible Reading Habit: A 31 Day Gospel Reading Plan $15.00

Follow on Instagram

Baruch, as you may recall from the book of Jeremiah, was the scribe of Jeremiah. This is a prophetic book written by Baruch calling the people of Jerusalem to repent of their idol worship and return to the Lord. 
Baruch is a great reminder of the importance of confession. The book opens with a call to make respond.
Then they wept, and fasted, and prayed before the Lord; and they collected money, each giving what he could – Baruch 1:5-6 RSVCE 
Baruch is a collection of the response to sin – both the acknowledgment of sin and the call to God’s mercy. 
#christianwoman #graceupongrace #jesusgirl #inspiredfaith #womenlivingwell #jesuscalling #faithfilledcaptions #catholicblogger #Catholicconvert #CatholicWoman #chasingsacred #christianwomenleaders #bibleverse #biblestudy  #christianblogger #faithinhim #proverbs31woman #faithful #Godisgood #encouragementgallery #godslove #christianposts #christianquote #prayer #prayertime 
#biblequotes #bibleinspiration
thethinplace
thethinplace
•
Follow
Baruch, as you may recall from the book of Jeremiah, was the scribe of Jeremiah. This is a prophetic book written by Baruch calling the people of Jerusalem to repent of their idol worship and return to the Lord. Baruch is a great reminder of the importance of confession. The book opens with a call to make respond. Then they wept, and fasted, and prayed before the Lord; and they collected money, each giving what he could – Baruch 1:5-6 RSVCE Baruch is a collection of the response to sin – both the acknowledgment of sin and the call to God’s mercy. #christianwoman #graceupongrace #jesusgirl #inspiredfaith #womenlivingwell #jesuscalling #faithfilledcaptions #catholicblogger #Catholicconvert #CatholicWoman #chasingsacred #christianwomenleaders #bibleverse #biblestudy #christianblogger #faithinhim #proverbs31woman #faithful #Godisgood #encouragementgallery #godslove #christianposts #christianquote #prayer #prayertime #biblequotes #bibleinspiration
4 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
1/5
The Book of Sirach is part of the Wisdom literature of the Bible. It was also written during the Maccabean revolt to encourage the people to hold fast to their Jewish faith and not to neglect the traditions and commandments handed down to them. 
Sirach is one of the books of the Bible found among the Dead Sea Scrolls in the late 1940s. It is also found in every copy of the Septuagint suggesting that is was considered to be Scripture by the Greek speaking Jews of that period.
It is full of practical, clear wisdom that is incredibly applicable to our lives today such as: 
The greater you are, the more you must humble yourself; so you will find favor in the sight of the Lord. - Sirach 3:18
The higher your position, the more you have to actively seek humility. When you are in a low position, when you rely on others, humility is a more natural disposition and you recognize your dependence on God. When you are great, you need to actively seek humility. 
Do not say, “Because of the Lord I left the right way”; for he will not do what he hates. - Sirach 15:11
This is pretty straightforward. We cannot blame the Lord when we choose sin. The Lord does not do what He hates. He will always provide a way for us to choose good and it adds to our shame when we choose sin and blame God for it. 
A slip on the pavement is better than a slip of the tongue; so the downfall of the wicked will occur speedily. - Sirach 20:18
As the Book of James expands upon the importance of bridling your tongue but more abut consistently in the Book of Sirach we are exhorted to keep charge over our tongues. Ironically, this is much easier said than done. 
Whether you’re new to the wisdom literature or have spent years pouring over proverbs, Sirach is a great place to begin in living a wiser, more biblical life. 
#bibletime #biblereading #readyourbible #proverbs31woman #proverbs31 #womenintheword #savedbygrace #virtuouswoman #godlywoman #godsgirl #christianliving #butgod #givemejesus #trustgod #daughteroftheking #walkbyfaith #beautyfromashes #graceupongrace #dailydevotional #faithjourney #jesuslover #faithblogger #godisgood #graceoverperfection #michiganblogger #biblescripture
thethinplace
thethinplace
•
Follow
The Book of Sirach is part of the Wisdom literature of the Bible. It was also written during the Maccabean revolt to encourage the people to hold fast to their Jewish faith and not to neglect the traditions and commandments handed down to them. Sirach is one of the books of the Bible found among the Dead Sea Scrolls in the late 1940s. It is also found in every copy of the Septuagint suggesting that is was considered to be Scripture by the Greek speaking Jews of that period. It is full of practical, clear wisdom that is incredibly applicable to our lives today such as: The greater you are, the more you must humble yourself; so you will find favor in the sight of the Lord. - Sirach 3:18 The higher your position, the more you have to actively seek humility. When you are in a low position, when you rely on others, humility is a more natural disposition and you recognize your dependence on God. When you are great, you need to actively seek humility. Do not say, “Because of the Lord I left the right way”; for he will not do what he hates. - Sirach 15:11 This is pretty straightforward. We cannot blame the Lord when we choose sin. The Lord does not do what He hates. He will always provide a way for us to choose good and it adds to our shame when we choose sin and blame God for it. A slip on the pavement is better than a slip of the tongue; so the downfall of the wicked will occur speedily. - Sirach 20:18 As the Book of James expands upon the importance of bridling your tongue but more abut consistently in the Book of Sirach we are exhorted to keep charge over our tongues. Ironically, this is much easier said than done. Whether you’re new to the wisdom literature or have spent years pouring over proverbs, Sirach is a great place to begin in living a wiser, more biblical life. #bibletime #biblereading #readyourbible #proverbs31woman #proverbs31 #womenintheword #savedbygrace #virtuouswoman #godlywoman #godsgirl #christianliving #butgod #givemejesus #trustgod #daughteroftheking #walkbyfaith #beautyfromashes #graceupongrace #dailydevotional #faithjourney #jesuslover #faithblogger #godisgood #graceoverperfection #michiganblogger #biblescripture
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
2/5
The Book of Wisdom full of poetic principles and outlines how to live life well. Written around the time of the Maccabean revolt, it is written in the style of Solomon (and is sometimes referred to as “The Wisdom of Solomon”) but was written by later authors.
While this book was not accepted in the Jewish cannon, it is in every copy of the Greek Septuagint but it was quote by St Augustine over 800 times and, most importantly, was declared Scripture at the Councils of Hippo and Carthage. 
It focuses on Wisdom guiding the lives of the faithful, the follies of the wicked, and focuses heavily on our future home with God and the life to come. 
For those of you familiar with the Nicene Creed, the Book of Wisdom is one of the sources of inspiration of our description of Jesus Christ. The reference to Christ being “Light from Light” is taken from Wisdom 7:26 which refers to Wisdom as being a “reflection of eternal light.” 
There are also several passages in Wisdom which foretell the death of Christ. One of my favorite passages is Wisdom 14:7, “Blessed is the wood by which righteousness comes,” which reminds me how truly blessed is the cross which held the Savior of the world, our perfect Sacrifice. 
Wisdom is very similar to the book of Proverbs in length and style. It points constantly to the Lord who, as James tells us, is ready to give wisdom to those who ask.
#proverbs31woman #proverbs31 #womenintheword  #virtuouswoman #godlywoman #godsgirl #christianliving #butgod #blessedandhighlyfavored #trustgod #daughteroftheking #walkbyfaith #daughterofaking #beautyfromashes #graceupongrace #dailydevotional #faithjourney #jesuslover #faithblogger #godisgood #graceoverperfection #michiganblogger #wordbeforworld
#thinplaces #encouragingquotes #christianlife #christianencouragement
thethinplace
thethinplace
•
Follow
The Book of Wisdom full of poetic principles and outlines how to live life well. Written around the time of the Maccabean revolt, it is written in the style of Solomon (and is sometimes referred to as “The Wisdom of Solomon”) but was written by later authors. While this book was not accepted in the Jewish cannon, it is in every copy of the Greek Septuagint but it was quote by St Augustine over 800 times and, most importantly, was declared Scripture at the Councils of Hippo and Carthage. It focuses on Wisdom guiding the lives of the faithful, the follies of the wicked, and focuses heavily on our future home with God and the life to come. For those of you familiar with the Nicene Creed, the Book of Wisdom is one of the sources of inspiration of our description of Jesus Christ. The reference to Christ being “Light from Light” is taken from Wisdom 7:26 which refers to Wisdom as being a “reflection of eternal light.” There are also several passages in Wisdom which foretell the death of Christ. One of my favorite passages is Wisdom 14:7, “Blessed is the wood by which righteousness comes,” which reminds me how truly blessed is the cross which held the Savior of the world, our perfect Sacrifice. Wisdom is very similar to the book of Proverbs in length and style. It points constantly to the Lord who, as James tells us, is ready to give wisdom to those who ask. #proverbs31woman #proverbs31 #womenintheword #virtuouswoman #godlywoman #godsgirl #christianliving #butgod #blessedandhighlyfavored #trustgod #daughteroftheking #walkbyfaith #daughterofaking #beautyfromashes #graceupongrace #dailydevotional #faithjourney #jesuslover #faithblogger #godisgood #graceoverperfection #michiganblogger #wordbeforworld #thinplaces #encouragingquotes #christianlife #christianencouragement
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
3/5
Chances are, the Books of Maccabees are probably the deuterocanonical books you are most familiar with!  It is in these books that we find the origins of Hanukkah.
To be honest, they are a rough read. A really rough read. They detail the suffering the people of God endured while their enemies attempted to control their land and wipe out their religion. 
It is a set of books filled with great suffering as many of the faithful are killed but it is also a book of great bravery and trust in the Lord in the midst of trials.
In Maccabees, two of the theological principles used today are clearly seen. The first, that God created the world out of nothing. 2 Maccabees 7:28 details how God did not make the world out of things already created, but out of nothing. 
The second principle is that of praying for the dead. While there are references throughout Scripture and it is a clear practice of the Early Church, it is most clearly referenced in 2 Maccabees 12. 
#christianwoman #graceupongrace #jesusgirl #inspiredfaith #womenlivingwell #jesuscalling #faithfilledcaptions #catholicblogger #Catholicconvert #CatholicWoman #chasingsacred #christianwomenleaders #bibleverse #biblestudy  #christianblogger #faithinhim #proverbs31woman #faithful #Godisgood #encouragementgallery #godslove #christianposts #christianquote #prayer #prayertime
thethinplace
thethinplace
•
Follow
Chances are, the Books of Maccabees are probably the deuterocanonical books you are most familiar with! It is in these books that we find the origins of Hanukkah. To be honest, they are a rough read. A really rough read. They detail the suffering the people of God endured while their enemies attempted to control their land and wipe out their religion. It is a set of books filled with great suffering as many of the faithful are killed but it is also a book of great bravery and trust in the Lord in the midst of trials. In Maccabees, two of the theological principles used today are clearly seen. The first, that God created the world out of nothing. 2 Maccabees 7:28 details how God did not make the world out of things already created, but out of nothing. The second principle is that of praying for the dead. While there are references throughout Scripture and it is a clear practice of the Early Church, it is most clearly referenced in 2 Maccabees 12. #christianwoman #graceupongrace #jesusgirl #inspiredfaith #womenlivingwell #jesuscalling #faithfilledcaptions #catholicblogger #Catholicconvert #CatholicWoman #chasingsacred #christianwomenleaders #bibleverse #biblestudy #christianblogger #faithinhim #proverbs31woman #faithful #Godisgood #encouragementgallery #godslove #christianposts #christianquote #prayer #prayertime
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
4/5
Judith is another archetypal story of the battle being won at the hand of a woman, seen also in Judges and Esther. 
During the reign of Nebuchadnezzar, an army is sent to destroy the mountain town that Judith lives in. The people are greatly distressed and death seems to be the only option. Judith, a wealthy widow, trusts in the Lord and ultimately, kills the opposing military leader and brings peace to the people.
It is a story of God’s provision for His people in their exile through an unlikely source, a widow. In Judith, we see an archetype pointing to Mary and to the Church, waiting for her true Bridegroom. 
But it is also a story that points to the Lord’s desire to draw all nations to Himself! One of my favorite parts of the book of Judith is that it tells us of the conversion of a man who initially sets out to fight the Jewish people coming to believe in the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob. 
“And when Achior saw all that the God of Israel had done, he believed firmly in God, and was circumcised, and joined the house of Israel.” - Judith 14:10
It beautiful reminder that God’s deliverance is for all mankind. 
#proverbs31woman #proverbs31 #womenintheword  #virtuouswoman #godlywoman #godsgirl #christianliving #butgod #blessedandhighlyfavored #trustgod #daughteroftheking #walkbyfaith #daughterofaking #beautyfromashes #graceupongrace #dailydevotional #faithjourney #jesuslover #faithblogger #godisgood #graceoverperfection #michiganblogger #wordbeforworld #encouragingquotes #christianlife #christianencouragement
thethinplace
thethinplace
•
Follow
Judith is another archetypal story of the battle being won at the hand of a woman, seen also in Judges and Esther. During the reign of Nebuchadnezzar, an army is sent to destroy the mountain town that Judith lives in. The people are greatly distressed and death seems to be the only option. Judith, a wealthy widow, trusts in the Lord and ultimately, kills the opposing military leader and brings peace to the people. It is a story of God’s provision for His people in their exile through an unlikely source, a widow. In Judith, we see an archetype pointing to Mary and to the Church, waiting for her true Bridegroom. But it is also a story that points to the Lord’s desire to draw all nations to Himself! One of my favorite parts of the book of Judith is that it tells us of the conversion of a man who initially sets out to fight the Jewish people coming to believe in the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob. “And when Achior saw all that the God of Israel had done, he believed firmly in God, and was circumcised, and joined the house of Israel.” - Judith 14:10 It beautiful reminder that God’s deliverance is for all mankind. #proverbs31woman #proverbs31 #womenintheword #virtuouswoman #godlywoman #godsgirl #christianliving #butgod #blessedandhighlyfavored #trustgod #daughteroftheking #walkbyfaith #daughterofaking #beautyfromashes #graceupongrace #dailydevotional #faithjourney #jesuslover #faithblogger #godisgood #graceoverperfection #michiganblogger #wordbeforworld #encouragingquotes #christianlife #christianencouragement
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
5/5
@thethinplace
Instagram has returned invalid data.

Copyright Bailey Suzio 2022 Site Powered by Pix & Hue.