As Christians, we believe that the Lord’s purposes prevail. Nothing happening in our lives is without meaning. Every moment is drenched in divine purpose. Even our waiting has been redeemed.

This changes how we wait. We wait with hope. Not just at the end of our wait, but in the certainty that this wait matters and that someday, our eyes will be open to the reason. In my life, the periods of darkness, of waiting for the sun, have often been the periods of growth. They are my spiritual winters where I draw close to God and wonder if there will ever be an end. But the sun always rises and finds me closer to the Son than I was before.

Some days, I wonder why God has afflicted me and my husband with this season of heartache. I sigh and I yell and I doubt the goodness of the God I know is good. I usually wake up the next morning and am graciously reminded of the truth that I can’t always see, that He is, in fact, good. So I preach to myself the truths that I know until I believe it.

Other days, I see my pain impacting and helping others. People reach out and tell me that my story is their story and that they cried when they realized they were not alone. We then cry together and feel the presence of the God who draws near to the brokenhearted. I now have the capacity to mourn with women whose losses I wouldn’t have been able to relate to if I hadn’t lost my own dreams. I see the intentionality and purpose of every single life and realize the immense miracle each and every person is. And I know that God’s purpose in my life is still prevailing. These are the days when I smile.

The smile days remind me of how I must walk through the tearful ones. They remind me that, no matter how dark this night may seem, He has promised the sun will rise. He has not failed me yet.

Because the dark night of the soul, it is not an accidental neglect on the part of our Savior. Not one single moment of pain is in vain. He is using and redeeming every second.

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. – 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, ESV

So I walk through life, holding the joy of the promise and the pain of the present in the same hand. I allow the joy of what I know to be true to infiltrate the depth of my pain and hope that the lessons and the closeness of God in this dark time will go with me into greener pastures.

I will leave you today with a quote from one of my favorite songs. “The Lord is My Joy” rarely fails to bring tears to my eyes and always reminds me of the love I have been lavished with.

“I wait, and wait upon you, to come for me in rescue.
Give strength, my heart is failing, yet still, my lips will praise you.

And with his wings he covers me, he keeps his watch while I’m asleep,
I offer all my thoughts and dreams, I give my savior everything.

You who gave your only son, I dare not doubt your steadfast love.
Come, I beg you take my life, if I am yours then all is right.”

– Nathan Partain, “The Lord is My Joy”

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