You Can’t Save Time
I strive daily to store up good things. I never love anything in halves. Like Marianne Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility, it is simply in my nature to love in excess. I don’t like, I love. If there is a song I enjoy, I listen to it several hundred times until I can’t possible handle another measure. If there is a book I am engrossed in, I will deprive myself of sleep for days until it is finished. Balance has never been a strong suit of mine. My brother said my motto should be, “Moderation is for cowards.” Passionate is a word I would use to describe myself; excessive is probably a more accurate one.
Military life and distance from my family, from my husband, it greatly impedes my ability to love lavishly. I crave the ability to pour myself into and out for those closest to me. I long to show them that I love them. I long to be loved. I ache to fit every memory my heart desires into week long vacations and the few short months between deployments.
There is a time and a season for everything. But unlike the harvest, when we store for the coming months, time doesn’t give us that option. We simply cannot control or meld it for our purposes.
I can try to squeeze every moment of life into the time I have with the people around me, but in the end, it will probably just drive us all crazy. The sands of time drop slowly on. I cannot speed them up to make it count for me now because of what will be lost later. As much as I would like to drag my husband around Oahu, cramming in a year’s worth of bucket list items into a few short months, that’s not an option. And if it were an option, would it actually be best?
I am becoming more and more convinced that the answer is no. That our lives are not meant to be lived in desperately forcing and creating moments but with hands held open to receive what is passed on and to let go when it is taken.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. – Matthew 6:34
Each day has enough trouble of its own. These words hit me somewhere deep within my gut. Knots form as I begin to look at the road ahead and the struggles I’ve watched friends endure. I strive to control my life and hope that this planning and striving will remove some of the sting of future pain.
In reality, I’m just robbing the joy today offers. I worry about my health, saving money, storing up memories, but tomorrow will have enough worry to fill it, I don’t have to borrow some today.
There will be good days, and there will be hard days. Wisdom is acknowledging the place that each day has in my life. To try to ward off future pain in the days of joy will only tarnish that memory. But when I hold my days loosely and trust that God will call me through each step, I find joy even in the sorrow.
I cannot control my time. I cannot save up my love or store up a year of memories in a few days, but I can take each day for what it is and enjoy the moment God has given me. Each days has its troubles but it also has its joys. Holding hands open, I smile in the moment, for that’s all I am promised. I don’t remain ignorant of the days ahead, but the courage I have is sourced from the joy He promises. The beauty of the Christian life is that we trust God will guide us through pain and through joy and bring us beside still waters to restore our souls.
We cannot store our time, but our Shepherd stands outside of it, guiding us along the path. When we trust in His care, we can laugh at the days to come, and see the joy in every moment.
The Comments
Dana
“That our lives are not meant to be lived in desperately forcing”…that’s like my life motto. 🙂 Thanks for the reminder.
Bailey
DanaIt’s a good motto to live by!
Michelle Koch
I loved this and strive to live this way, but always need reminding. One of my favorite verses too.
Bailey
Michelle KochIt’s a verse that hits so deeply. Each day will have plenty to worry about, let’s just focus on the one at hand!
Blossom
Thanks for the reminder. No point in worrying about tomorrow when it is not even promised.
Bailey
BlossomExactly! The only thing we are promised is that God will guide us through every step. Let’s focus more on that!
Casey the College Celiac
Such a beautifully written post. I can relate to many points since I was raised as a Marine brat until a year ago (when I turned 20) and my dad retired. We all know that we missed plenty of time together during his deployments and various other time away from home. However, I try to instead focus on the memories I do have with him and how extra precious those moments felt.
Bailey
Casey the College CeliacThat is so beautiful and encouraging. Thank you for sharing. <3
justine
AMEN! As a fellow military spouse, this is something that I had to adopt as well. I didn’t like it at first, but savoring each moment — each baby snuggle, each laugh with the husband is incredibly important! understanding that everything is finite def. changes your perspective.
Bailey
justineEach and every moment needs to be savored! We try to hard to cram in many moments but we miss savoring the ones at hand.
Courtney
Oh girl. This post hits so so close to home. Getting ready for a big family transition and I’m finding myself thinking 60 days ahead of today while also grieving the loss of each moment. “We cannot store our time, but our Shepherd stands outside of it, guiding us along the path” is something I will be allowing to roll around in my mind for weeks to come. It’s exactly what I needed to hear. Also, I’m going to be living in western Pennsylvania soon around the same time you’re in Michigan! It’s still far away but way closer than Philly and Hawaii so I’m believing for a blogger friend date some day 😉
Bailey
CourtneyCourtney, I will be praying for your transition and eagerly awaiting our blogger friend date. I went to college in western PA (Grove City) and love that area.
Liz
This is so true! I wish I could save time, but I can’t.. so I will just try to enjoy every moment! Great reminder!
Bailey
LizThanks, Liz!
Ashley
Love all your words here! And that verse is one of my faves! <3
Bailey
AshleyI find this verse to be calming and convicting all in the same moment. The word of God is truly living and active!
Leah
I am also just trying to live in the moment and not borrow worries from tomorrow. It is hard to do, but so worth it. I can enjoy time with my family and my life more when I am not stressing about what is to come. Thanks for the lovely post and reminder!
Bailey
LeahIt is so much easier said than done. But I also am more and more convinced that it is necessary to pick ourselves back up and try again to take captive every thought.
Cindy
Great post, Bailey. Time, we can’t buy it, can’t save it, we do waste it sometimes, but we can redeem time by using it wisely. Enjoyed your thoughts.
Bailey
CindyThank you, Cindy!
Mica
This was such a beautifully written post, thank you for sharing. Great advice too, it’s so important to try worry less and live in the moment more 🙂
I’ve scheduled to share this post on twitter as I really enjoyed it.
Hope you are having a great week! I published my first eBook on Monday so I’m having a pretty good week! 🙂
Away From The Blue Blog
Bailey
MicaCongrats on your ebook and thank you for sharing!
Jamianne
What a great reminder to be in the moment and find the joy in what we’re given each day. I suffer from chronic illness and often find myself “waiting” for the good days when I’m well again… in the meantime I miss precious moments that are happening whether I’m well or not. Thanks so much for sharing. <3
Laura {The Rambling Ramnaths}
I love this!! It is exactly the reminder I need going into summer. Slowing down and enjoying each day as it comes is exactly what God wants. This way there is room for Him to work and show us where we should be serving him. Thank you for sharing!
Melonie burch
Awesome. Simply awesome
Bailey
Melonie burchThanks, Melonie.