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The Thin Place

To The Woman Sitting Alone in Church, Please Stay

I’ve been you. And I see you.

I’ve sat alone in a sea of families by myself. Maybe it’s deployments, singleness, a crazy work schedule, or an unbelieving spouse. No matter the reason, the loneliness hurts.

Church is a wonderful place and is very counter-cultural in its love for families. It is a beautiful thing but when you’re sitting alone, it makes you feel like an outsider, an unwelcome.

But friend, the Church needs you. You are an important, vital part to the Body of Christ, not an after thought. Your worship on Sunday morning matters to you and to those sitting around you. We need you to keep showing up, keep being vulnerable, and keep loving hard.

Let’s be brave and ask to sit with a new friend when it’d be easier to sneak in the back and bolt out as soon as the benediction is pronounced. Let’s keep fighting to bring unity and love to our churches. Let’s fight to be worthy of the sacrifice we’ve been given.

I wrote more about this on Her View from Home last week:

I see you there. You might have slipped in quietly as the service began or you might have been chatting it up as you came through the doors, but either way, now there you sit. Alone and exposed in a sea of families. 

I’ve been you. For different reasons in different seasons. You might be a single mom or just a single, braving a very family-centric environment alone. You might be sitting, praying for a husband to believe and to share in the faith you’ve found and hold dear. Maybe, like me, your better half’s work schedule keeps him away or he’s traveling, yet again, for work. No matter the reason, the pain, the vulnerability that comes from sitting alone is the same. And until it’s been you, it’s hard to understand . . . 

Read more here from Her View from Home

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The Comments

  • shelby @ for the love of paws
    August 24, 2017

    I love this! I think the church is the last place a person should be judged. 🙂

    Reply
    • Bailey
      shelby @ for the love of paws
      August 24, 2017

      It is. I think often it is not about judgement as much as it is that we are just drawn to similar people. Church calls us to break out of that and to embrace the larger community.

      Reply
  • Emma @ theweekendabroad.com
    August 24, 2017

    This is such a beautiful and touching message. Thank you for writing such powerful pieces.

    Reply
    • Bailey
      Emma @ theweekendabroad.com
      August 24, 2017

      Thank you, Emma. That means a lot.

      Reply
  • Denisse | Le Petit Eats
    August 24, 2017

    I don’t attend church anymore but this is a very supportive and encouraging post for those who do.

    Reply
    • Bailey
      Denisse | Le Petit Eats
      August 24, 2017

      I’m sorry to hear that. I hope that you are someday able to give it a second chance and find a beautiful, loving community.

      Reply
  • Jenny
    August 24, 2017

    I’ve avoided going to church for a few years now because just me and my two boys (a toddler who won’t sit still) I sit in the back and bolt out as soon as service is over.

    Reply
    • Bailey
      Jenny
      August 24, 2017

      That breaks my heart. I hope you are able to reengage with the church community and find a way to make it easier. These are rough days but God is good and your worship matters. So does the worship of your two little ones.

      Reply
  • Nicole Banuelos
    August 24, 2017

    What a beautiful and encouraging post! Love this!

    Reply
    • Bailey
      Nicole Banuelos
      August 24, 2017

      Thank you, Nicole.

      Reply
  • Andy Schwartz
    August 25, 2017

    I’ve been there! It’s so hard when you move to a new place and try to find a new church. Always seems like you’re sitting in someone’s pew! It’s so difficult to listen to all the friendly conversation around you, feeling like a stranger. This was a lovely post. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Bailey
      Andy Schwartz
      August 28, 2017

      It is hard but it’s so wonderful when people stop and reach out to you.

      Reply
  • Julie I Aloha Lovely
    August 25, 2017

    Lovely post. Church communities I have experienced have always been very eager to include everyone.

    Reply
    • Bailey
      Julie I Aloha Lovely
      August 28, 2017

      That is so wonderful to hear, Julie!

      Reply
  • Delphine
    August 25, 2017

    I’m not a church person but this is a nice thought.

    Reply
    • Bailey
      Delphine
      August 28, 2017

      Thank you, Delphine.

      Reply
  • Natalie @ Obsessive Cooking Disorder
    August 25, 2017

    Our church has a breakfast after to encourage people to meet. I often go alone because of long distance but it’s nice to sit together with eggs, toast, and coffee

    Reply
    • Bailey
      Natalie @ Obsessive Cooking Disorder
      August 28, 2017

      That is amazing. I absolutely love that idea.

      Reply
  • Irma
    September 15, 2017

    Thank you for your post. As a woman who has been sitting alone at church for over 40 years, I can honestly say that I am pass those uneasy feelings that everyone is looking at me.
    I do realize that many might think that I am a widow because of my age but I am not .I am not embarrassed nor do I care what people think. My husband is an atheist and I am a born again believer. We are so unevenly yoked!
    I have never been tempted to stop going to church. Going gives me peace and strength. My advice to all is to keep going and keep trusting God. Remember that you must never allow those uneasy feelings to get in the way of you loving and serving the Lord.

    Reply
    • Bailey
      Irma
      September 18, 2017

      I am so glad that you’ve kept on going. Your church needs you and you need the believers around you. Thank you for setting that example of perseverance and trust.

      Reply
  • Tammy
    October 14, 2017

    I always gave up because my husband chooses not to come but this brought me encouragement thank you ❤️

    Reply
  • Aneen
    February 13, 2020

    Those describes me every Sunday. I’m a single mom, and I pray for my family to find what I’ve found going to church every Sunday. My son goes to Sunday school so I’m all alone in church. But God has spoken to me many times sitting alone on that bench.

    Reply
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Hello, I’m Bailey
about me

Hello, I’m Bailey

The Thin Place was born out of a season of struggle. A season where I felt stretched thin and desperately longed to see the goodness of God in the land of the living. The goodness of God showed up in unexpected ways. During that season, the spiritual disciplines laid out in Scripture, the traditions of the Church, and the reminders of His faithfulness seen in liturgial living and the feasts and seasons of the Church calendar all opened my eyes to the hope we have in Christ.

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Chances are, the Books of Maccabees are probably the deuterocanonical books you are most familiar with!  It is in these books that we find the origins of Hanukkah.
To be honest, they are a rough read. A really rough read. They detail the suffering the people of God endured while their enemies attempted to control their land and wipe out their religion. 
It is a set of books filled with great suffering as many of the faithful are killed but it is also a book of great bravery and trust in the Lord in the midst of trials.
In Maccabees, two of the theological principles used today are clearly seen. The first, that God created the world out of nothing. 2 Maccabees 7:28 details how God did not make the world out of things already created, but out of nothing. 
The second principle is that of praying for the dead. While there are references throughout Scripture and it is a clear practice of the Early Church, it is most clearly referenced in 2 Maccabees 12. 
#christianwoman #graceupongrace #jesusgirl #inspiredfaith #womenlivingwell #jesuscalling #faithfilledcaptions #catholicblogger #Catholicconvert #CatholicWoman #chasingsacred #christianwomenleaders #bibleverse #biblestudy  #christianblogger #faithinhim #proverbs31woman #faithful #Godisgood #encouragementgallery #godslove #christianposts #christianquote #prayer #prayertime
thethinplace
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Chances are, the Books of Maccabees are probably the deuterocanonical books you are most familiar with! It is in these books that we find the origins of Hanukkah. To be honest, they are a rough read. A really rough read. They detail the suffering the people of God endured while their enemies attempted to control their land and wipe out their religion. It is a set of books filled with great suffering as many of the faithful are killed but it is also a book of great bravery and trust in the Lord in the midst of trials. In Maccabees, two of the theological principles used today are clearly seen. The first, that God created the world out of nothing. 2 Maccabees 7:28 details how God did not make the world out of things already created, but out of nothing. The second principle is that of praying for the dead. While there are references throughout Scripture and it is a clear practice of the Early Church, it is most clearly referenced in 2 Maccabees 12. #christianwoman #graceupongrace #jesusgirl #inspiredfaith #womenlivingwell #jesuscalling #faithfilledcaptions #catholicblogger #Catholicconvert #CatholicWoman #chasingsacred #christianwomenleaders #bibleverse #biblestudy #christianblogger #faithinhim #proverbs31woman #faithful #Godisgood #encouragementgallery #godslove #christianposts #christianquote #prayer #prayertime
1 day ago
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1/5
Judith is another archetypal story of the battle being won at the hand of a woman, seen also in Judges and Esther. 
During the reign of Nebuchadnezzar, an army is sent to destroy the mountain town that Judith lives in. The people are greatly distressed and death seems to be the only option. Judith, a wealthy widow, trusts in the Lord and ultimately, kills the opposing military leader and brings peace to the people.
It is a story of God’s provision for His people in their exile through an unlikely source, a widow. In Judith, we see an archetype pointing to Mary and to the Church, waiting for her true Bridegroom. 
But it is also a story that points to the Lord’s desire to draw all nations to Himself! One of my favorite parts of the book of Judith is that it tells us of the conversion of a man who initially sets out to fight the Jewish people coming to believe in the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob. 
“And when Achior saw all that the God of Israel had done, he believed firmly in God, and was circumcised, and joined the house of Israel.” - Judith 14:10
It beautiful reminder that God’s deliverance is for all mankind. 
#proverbs31woman #proverbs31 #womenintheword  #virtuouswoman #godlywoman #godsgirl #christianliving #butgod #blessedandhighlyfavored #trustgod #daughteroftheking #walkbyfaith #daughterofaking #beautyfromashes #graceupongrace #dailydevotional #faithjourney #jesuslover #faithblogger #godisgood #graceoverperfection #michiganblogger #wordbeforworld #encouragingquotes #christianlife #christianencouragement
thethinplace
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•
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Judith is another archetypal story of the battle being won at the hand of a woman, seen also in Judges and Esther. During the reign of Nebuchadnezzar, an army is sent to destroy the mountain town that Judith lives in. The people are greatly distressed and death seems to be the only option. Judith, a wealthy widow, trusts in the Lord and ultimately, kills the opposing military leader and brings peace to the people. It is a story of God’s provision for His people in their exile through an unlikely source, a widow. In Judith, we see an archetype pointing to Mary and to the Church, waiting for her true Bridegroom. But it is also a story that points to the Lord’s desire to draw all nations to Himself! One of my favorite parts of the book of Judith is that it tells us of the conversion of a man who initially sets out to fight the Jewish people coming to believe in the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob. “And when Achior saw all that the God of Israel had done, he believed firmly in God, and was circumcised, and joined the house of Israel.” - Judith 14:10 It beautiful reminder that God’s deliverance is for all mankind. #proverbs31woman #proverbs31 #womenintheword #virtuouswoman #godlywoman #godsgirl #christianliving #butgod #blessedandhighlyfavored #trustgod #daughteroftheking #walkbyfaith #daughterofaking #beautyfromashes #graceupongrace #dailydevotional #faithjourney #jesuslover #faithblogger #godisgood #graceoverperfection #michiganblogger #wordbeforworld #encouragingquotes #christianlife #christianencouragement
2 days ago
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2/5
If there was any Old Testament book I would love to see made into a movie - it would be Tobit! It has everything! Despair! True love! Home remedies! Battles against demons! A quest to find the family treasure! It is truly a dramatic book. Like the book of Esther, it demonstrates God care for His people during their exile. 
Tobit is a narrative book. Like Job, it begins with a man who served the Lord but was met with misfortune so great that he begs the Lord to let Him die. At the same time, a young widow across the country is making the same request. God answers both of their prayers through the intervention of the angel Raphael who, in disguise as a man, helps Tobit’s son on a journey. It is a short, compelling story and, for that reason, it is a really great place to start if you want to read through the Deuterocanonical books.
There is also a beautiful contrast to Adam and Eve seen in the love story of Tobias and Sarah. Where one couple listened to devil and succumbed to temptation, we see the other stand firm in reliance on the Lord. This points us to the future coming of Christ and His defense of His bride, the Church.
#christianwoman #graceupongrace #jesusgirl #inspiredfaith #womenlivingwell #jesuscalling #faithfilledcaptions #catholicblogger #Catholicconvert #CatholicWoman #chasingsacred #christianwomenleaders #bibleverse #biblestudy  #christianblogger #faithinhim #proverbs31woman #faithful #Godisgood #encouragementgallery #godslove #christianposts #christianquote #prayer #prayertime #miblogger #michiganblogger
thethinplace
thethinplace
•
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If there was any Old Testament book I would love to see made into a movie - it would be Tobit! It has everything! Despair! True love! Home remedies! Battles against demons! A quest to find the family treasure! It is truly a dramatic book. Like the book of Esther, it demonstrates God care for His people during their exile. Tobit is a narrative book. Like Job, it begins with a man who served the Lord but was met with misfortune so great that he begs the Lord to let Him die. At the same time, a young widow across the country is making the same request. God answers both of their prayers through the intervention of the angel Raphael who, in disguise as a man, helps Tobit’s son on a journey. It is a short, compelling story and, for that reason, it is a really great place to start if you want to read through the Deuterocanonical books. There is also a beautiful contrast to Adam and Eve seen in the love story of Tobias and Sarah. Where one couple listened to devil and succumbed to temptation, we see the other stand firm in reliance on the Lord. This points us to the future coming of Christ and His defense of His bride, the Church. #christianwoman #graceupongrace #jesusgirl #inspiredfaith #womenlivingwell #jesuscalling #faithfilledcaptions #catholicblogger #Catholicconvert #CatholicWoman #chasingsacred #christianwomenleaders #bibleverse #biblestudy #christianblogger #faithinhim #proverbs31woman #faithful #Godisgood #encouragementgallery #godslove #christianposts #christianquote #prayer #prayertime #miblogger #michiganblogger
3 days ago
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3/5
The Book of Wisdom full of poetic principles and outlines how to live life well. Written around the time of the Maccabean revolt, it is written in the style of Solomon (and is sometimes referred to as “The Wisdom of Solomon”) but was written by later authors.
While this book was not accepted in the Jewish cannon, it is in every copy of the Greek Septuagint but it was quote by St Augustine over 800 times and, most importantly, was declared Scripture at the Councils of Hippo and Carthage. 
It focuses on Wisdom guiding the lives of the faithful, the follies of the wicked, and focuses heavily on our future home with God and the life to come. 
For those of you familiar with the Nicene Creed, the Book of Wisdom is one of the sources of inspiration of our description of Jesus Christ. The reference to Christ being “Light from Light” is taken from Wisdom 7:26 which refers to Wisdom as being a “reflection of eternal light.” 
There are also several passages in Wisdom which foretell the death of Christ. One of my favorite passages is Wisdom 14:7, “Blessed is the wood by which righteousness comes,” which reminds me how truly blessed is the cross which held the Savior of the world, our perfect Sacrifice. 
Wisdom is very similar to the book of Proverbs in length and style. It points constantly to the Lord who, as James tells us, is ready to give wisdom to those who ask. 
#bibletime #biblereading #readyourbible #proverbs31woman #proverbs31 #womenintheword #savedbygrace #virtuouswoman #godlywoman #godsgirl #christianliving #butgod #givemejesus #trustgod #daughteroftheking #walkbyfaith #beautyfromashes #graceupongrace #dailydevotional #faithjourney #jesuslover #faithblogger #godisgood #graceoverperfection #michiganblogger #biblescripture #catholicbible
thethinplace
thethinplace
•
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The Book of Wisdom full of poetic principles and outlines how to live life well. Written around the time of the Maccabean revolt, it is written in the style of Solomon (and is sometimes referred to as “The Wisdom of Solomon”) but was written by later authors. While this book was not accepted in the Jewish cannon, it is in every copy of the Greek Septuagint but it was quote by St Augustine over 800 times and, most importantly, was declared Scripture at the Councils of Hippo and Carthage. It focuses on Wisdom guiding the lives of the faithful, the follies of the wicked, and focuses heavily on our future home with God and the life to come. For those of you familiar with the Nicene Creed, the Book of Wisdom is one of the sources of inspiration of our description of Jesus Christ. The reference to Christ being “Light from Light” is taken from Wisdom 7:26 which refers to Wisdom as being a “reflection of eternal light.” There are also several passages in Wisdom which foretell the death of Christ. One of my favorite passages is Wisdom 14:7, “Blessed is the wood by which righteousness comes,” which reminds me how truly blessed is the cross which held the Savior of the world, our perfect Sacrifice. Wisdom is very similar to the book of Proverbs in length and style. It points constantly to the Lord who, as James tells us, is ready to give wisdom to those who ask. #bibletime #biblereading #readyourbible #proverbs31woman #proverbs31 #womenintheword #savedbygrace #virtuouswoman #godlywoman #godsgirl #christianliving #butgod #givemejesus #trustgod #daughteroftheking #walkbyfaith #beautyfromashes #graceupongrace #dailydevotional #faithjourney #jesuslover #faithblogger #godisgood #graceoverperfection #michiganblogger #biblescripture #catholicbible
4 days ago
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4/5
Until I read the entire Bible last year for the Bible in Lent challenge, I had never read most of the Deuterocanonical / Apocryphal books of the Bible. When I did this, I realized that, aside from a vague notion of Maccabees from Hanukkah books, I had absolutely no idea what the rest of the books contained.
For the next few days, we're going to do a little overview of each of these books in the Bible.
But first, why aren't these books in the Protestant Bible?
Like most of the divides in the Catholic and Protestant conversation, there is a lot of nuances. Luther’s own translation of the Bible included these books although he moved them to a separate section. They were also included in the King James Bible of 1611 and the Geneva Bible even though they were viewed as apocryphal or “outside of Scripture.” It was not standard even in Protestantism to exclude these books from the Bible printing until 1825. 
Essentially, there is a lot of historical evidence that the church throughout history considered these books a part of the Bible. But earlier in the Church, we see evidence of Church leaders such as St. Polycarp, St. Clement of Rome, Origen, St. Athanasius, St. Jerome, and St. Augustine,  affirming some or all of these books as Scripture.
It's clear that historically, believers have seen these books as beneficial so I hope you'll join me in looking at them this week!
#godsword #jesusislife #dailydevotion #shedelights #graceupongrace #godisfaithful #lordjesus #blessedisshe #biblestudy #trustinhim #catholicism #bible #jesuslove #christianposts #readyourbible #bibledaily #intheword #wordbeforeworld #bibleversedaily #gracemakers #christianwomenleaders #bibletruth #jesusisthereasonfortheseason #godlovesyou #prayerchangesthings #dailybibleverse #seekhim
thethinplace
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Until I read the entire Bible last year for the Bible in Lent challenge, I had never read most of the Deuterocanonical / Apocryphal books of the Bible. When I did this, I realized that, aside from a vague notion of Maccabees from Hanukkah books, I had absolutely no idea what the rest of the books contained. For the next few days, we're going to do a little overview of each of these books in the Bible. But first, why aren't these books in the Protestant Bible? Like most of the divides in the Catholic and Protestant conversation, there is a lot of nuances. Luther’s own translation of the Bible included these books although he moved them to a separate section. They were also included in the King James Bible of 1611 and the Geneva Bible even though they were viewed as apocryphal or “outside of Scripture.” It was not standard even in Protestantism to exclude these books from the Bible printing until 1825. Essentially, there is a lot of historical evidence that the church throughout history considered these books a part of the Bible. But earlier in the Church, we see evidence of Church leaders such as St. Polycarp, St. Clement of Rome, Origen, St. Athanasius, St. Jerome, and St. Augustine, affirming some or all of these books as Scripture. It's clear that historically, believers have seen these books as beneficial so I hope you'll join me in looking at them this week! #godsword #jesusislife #dailydevotion #shedelights #graceupongrace #godisfaithful #lordjesus #blessedisshe #biblestudy #trustinhim #catholicism #bible #jesuslove #christianposts #readyourbible #bibledaily #intheword #wordbeforeworld #bibleversedaily #gracemakers #christianwomenleaders #bibletruth #jesusisthereasonfortheseason #godlovesyou #prayerchangesthings #dailybibleverse #seekhim
5 days ago
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5/5
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