Beginning Again: Keeping Your Faith After Failure

I woke up this morning eager to embrace the routine I had dedicated myself to in this new year. Despite having one of the worst nights of sleep in my recent memory, I woke dramatically earlier than my body’s “still on vacation” clock wanted to at the first sound of my alarm. And I threw myself into habits and practices that felt foreign to my body but that I’ve done many times—it’s just been awhile. 

So why do we do it? Why do we look for more accountability, a new reading plan, a new reminder to care for others, to use our bodies, to strive for holiness when experience tells us, it will be short lived? Why do we just hop back on the wagon, whatever our wagon is, when we’ve fallen off more times than we care to admit?

As my muscles stretch through my morning workout and ache through my Bible reading, I can’t help but wonder why I try again to embrace these habits. 

Why do I strive instead of resigning myself to failure? 

The words of St. Benedict run through my mind and I repeat to myself, “Always, we begin again.”

The words of St. Benedict run through my mind and I repeat to myself, “Always, we begin again.”

And doesn’t that sum up this life perfectly? 

Doesn’t the new year bring with it a reminder that again, this year and today, tomorrow and always, we will start fresh with new grace and new strength? 

Hosea saw a pattern of faithfulness and unfaithfulness in his life, but he stood as a prophet of God because the unfaithful people of Israel and urged them, and us, to return, again and again, to the things God has called us to do. Because when we are unfaithful, He is still faithful. 

Come, let us return to the Lord;
    for he has torn us, that he may heal us;
    he has struck us down, and he will bind us up.
After two days he will revive us;
    on the third day he will raise us up,
    that we may live before him.
Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord;
    his going out is sure as the dawn;
he will come to us as the showers,
    as the spring rains that water the earth. – Hosea 6:1-3, ESV

Just like the rain, so will God’s faithfulness fall upon us. 

Despite our failures and shortcomings and need for do-overs, God will revive us and draw us back to Himself.

Despite our failures and shortcomings and need for do-overs, God will revive us and draw us back to Himself. 

God knows that we are a faltering people and that you and I will continually miss the mark. But He doesn’t toss us away or give up on us. Instead, He waits for us to turn back to the one we have missed. 

And because of His faithfulness in the midst of our shortcomings, we should always strive to begin again, recommitting ourselves to live the holy lives He has called us to live but knowing our broken, fallen nature. We will fail because we are sinful humans, still battling our flesh, but because of His great love, we will not be defeated. 

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. – Philippians 1:6, ESV

As we begin again, whether it’s with the beginning of a new routine or a new commitment to the work God, we need to rely on His work in us. We are broken and will fall short but we must not grow weary. Instead, we need to let Him pick us back up and, by His grace, renew our commitment to joining Him in His work. 

Because these tasks truly are His work, not our own.

Because these tasks truly are His work, not our own. 

Our God graciously allows us the joy of joining in and rejoicing in each small victory but He is the one who completes the work. 

Left to my own, I know I would give up and abandon the hope of holiness. Thankfully, I am not left to my own. I am carried by the Maker if the oceans and the Redeemer of my soul. So today, I will stand up and join again in the work He has given me. I will allow my heart to be reinvigorated by His mercy and to believe in His promise to complete the work He has begun. 

It won’t happen overnight and it certainly won’t happen on the timeline I would like to map out in my planner. But like a farmer holding onto the promise of rain in the midst of a drought, I know that one day, I will see the fulfillment of my labor and God’s faithfulness.